ALL THE IMAGE MACROS: Part 2

I GOT A GUITAR. BITCHES LOVE GUITARS.

Alright so here's part 2 of the "Let's judge and make fun of everyone in the party," party... I have to say, I was feeling quite a bit lazier when I put this set together; YOUR CHARACTERS DID NOT MAKE IT EASIER! So in this installment, I take a look at all the "squishy" characters; our bard, wizard, and rogue.

NOTE: Tales of party exploits viewed in this mirror may be a bit more hyperbolic than they actually were. It's a blog, I'm not going for a Pulitzer.


So first up, is Bruq, our bard played by none other than co-DM, HTMC.

I really wasn't sure what to expect from this concept, since it was pretty much described to me as Baird, but you know, with a lyre instead of a lancer or some shit. All I knew; EXPECT SNARK AND SARCASM. That, kind of happened. But seriously, you play a bard an don't burst into song even once? What the fuck is that all about (I offered fantastic rewards too, who doesn't want a copper drama card?). 

What this really turned into though, was in the very few sessions where either of us got to play, Bruq just did whatever the fuck he wanted. Key example, FIRST SESSION, I had a trap labyrinth set up; ONLY ONE OF THE TRAPS COULD KILL YOU OUTRIGHT (platforming section covered and Portal 2 speed gel). HTMC knew this, and decided to go about getting through the section in the most inane way possible and ROLLED ALL THE NAT 1s. 

This was not my greatest fear however. The fear which ate away at my very soul as I sat in the DM throne. The fear, that Bruq would turn into Drachon (cue fireballs and daemonic cackling at the mention of the name). Drachon, in summary, was an asshole. Like, the worst kind of asshole, and he was fucking racist against kobolds. I WAS PERFECTLY CHARMING GODDAMNIT! Unfortunately, my fear was realized in my final session, as Bruq decided rather than deal with the consequences of BLATANTLY FUCKING LYING AND FAILING A BLUFF CHECK, that shooting the bro they were trying to get a rental barge from in the face with a crossbow was a better option.

Now, I've ripped on Bruq pretty hard, but he was actually a pretty decent character and I realize it's not necessarily fair to criticize considering he only had like 3-4 sessions to actually develop. But since when have I ever been fair?

Now, moving on to our squishy wizard, Riven, as played by near-immortal super deity Will.

So, I don't think Will had any idea for what he wanted to do with this character (in fact I'm pretty certain he told me as much). All I know, wizard, arcana, blah blah blah. IT SEEMED LIKE A TOTALLY REASONABLE BUILD.

But no, this is Will, so the only constant is that he will have discovered something game-breakingly stupid that is totally within his rights and the rules, and then he'll cackle maniacally as everything goes to plan, saying, "Oh, well if you think it's too OP..." with the intonation of a bond villain.

FROM SPREADSHEET EXHAUSTION

This time, it was god damned sustained AOE fields, the most notable of which was essentially a 10-block tear gas cloud. Literally broke and encounter and saved a character that was meant to get killed off that session. IT WAS AWESOME. Honestly, my only real complaint (not just bitching for lulz) is that DMing combat encounters with him turned into a kafka-esque nightmare. When you have to keep track to field stacked on top of field, it turns more into a game of Excel; DND Edition.

Still, I couldn't help but feel that Asunder had been subtly reincarnated within our midst. Will never asks to be OP, it just FUCKING FALLS IN HIS LAP. Oh god, history is repeating itself. HE'S COMING!

So finally, we have our rogue, Kaii.

So, I really couldn't tell you what this character was supposed to be. All I know, is that this rogue was NOT BUILT FOR RANGE. Like, not at all.

So imagine our collective surprise when the only thing Kaii would ever do, is climb up trees and fire her hand crossbow at people.

EXCEPT I DON'T THINK SHE EVER ACTUALLY HIT

Now, in the sake of fairness, at least 3 of us offered to help her rebuild her character to get her on par with the rest of the min-maxed monsters in the party (Cynan says hello). But she refused. MULTIPLE OFFERS.

I'm honestly not even sure she did any damage with that crossbow, I can't actually recall it hitting at any point. But she kept trying. And kept trying. The entire campaign.

You know what they say about repeating the same action over and over again and expecting different results? Yeah...

I still am not quite sure what her character was supposed to be, but I'm god damn thankful as a DM she was there cause she was the ONLY SANE CHARACTER THERE (admittedly, most characters weren't consistently insane, but she was the only one who [out of combat] didn't go batshit at least once). She served the very important role as acting as the voice of sanity, and most importantly, she could talk Cpt. Deranged Warforged Gollem back to viewing distance of reality. 

So in summary, definitely a different sort of group than I'm used to, but overall I think it was a good party. Me (Cynan) and Daniel (Gollem) had ridiculous synergy in combat; it was BRUTAL (and oh so great). I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where these players/character go if we continue with this setting, but one things for sure, Cynan and Beartram are going to make one hell of a Bro-Team.